I live in China and every week, I go to the mall, and see three statues. I could understand what powerful message they represent.
One week, I was shocked to see the men in the statue talking. I pinched myself to make sure I was not hallucinating but I was not. I hid behind the bushes to listen to their conversation.
There were two parents talking to a teacher. The teacher was telling the parents that they should send their children to school. He told them the education funds are available from the Chinese government for parents who can not afford for their child's education. I was really inspired by their conversation. When I looked back the statues they were still.
One week, I was shocked to see the men in the statue talking. I pinched myself to make sure I was not hallucinating but I was not. I hid behind the bushes to listen to their conversation.
There were two parents talking to a teacher. The teacher was telling the parents that they should send their children to school. He told them the education funds are available from the Chinese government for parents who can not afford for their child's education. I was really inspired by their conversation. When I looked back the statues they were still.
I think you should change the first sentence to,"I live in China and every week, when I go to the mall, I see 3 statues." After "one week" you should put a comma, you could get rid of the word "three" in the third sentence, and after hallucinating you should put the word but instead of and. The part when it says," there were two parents..." that should be a new paragraph.
ReplyDeleteIn the first 2 sentences you are changing from the past to the present. So instead of saying "I never understood" say "I can never understand" and there should be a new paragraph from "One week"
ReplyDeleteIn the first 2 sentences you are changing from the past to the present. So instead of saying "I never understood" say "I can never understand" and there should be a new paragraph from "One week"
ReplyDelete